MARRIAGE MATTERS

hello everyone,

I know too many people have read or heard about Chris okotie marriage divorce and honestly speaking it is worth alarming. As I posted earlier on on this blog the bible quotations concerning marriage’s. I  also had to analyzed in some research I have done and come out with some reasons why people stay single or divorce after getting married let me say this in advance I am still single and hoping to marry so this apply to each and every person out there who is not married and wants to be. But, let’s be real some of it does apply to the married also.

Independence

Lots of women out there wants independence so much that they neglect the duty and right of a man (husband) this is what most of us say "I don't need someone to take care of me, I have a successful job/career, my own house, family, etc. I enjoy my privacy, freedom and personal and financial independence. I see no benefit to getting entangled in anything more than a nice relationship."It is good but wrong.

You’re loose (as in you give it up way too easy) and is not good at all

Hooking up with some guy at any place is fine for the ladies after all but they’re not trying to get married. You are. This means, unfortunately, that if you’re having sex outside committed relationships, you will have to stop. Why? Because past a certain age, casual sex is like recreational heroin — it doesn’t stay recreational for long.

You’re Not Good Enough.
I do not think that for you. You did thought for yourself. I can tell because you’re not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job

Previous marriages

Past marital experiences have left some people cool on marriage. You get divorcee you jump into another. what makes you think the current will work..work out your previous one that’s the answer.

Lack of Commitment

For many couples the marriage vows are just a ceremony and do not follow or keep the commitment made through the vows to the partner. They tend to forget that it takes commitment to nurture any relationship than looking for quick fix solutions and giving up too easily.

Family background

People who come from divorced home is likely to end up same way. Many of those children do not have believe and faith on the institution created and designed by God therefore they can salvage their home at anytime

 

Compatibility

Marriage is not just about physical compatibility; the couple should have mental compatibility as well to have a successful marriage. When the couple is not in tune with each other’s feelings then there is a higher chance that they might end up divorcing.

Lack of Physical Attraction

As years go by its quite natural for the couples to lose interest in maintaining their beauty and health. Such a situation can get the partner to stray thereby resulting in divorce. Further there are men who marry ugly or physically handicapped girls just for the hefty dowry they could bring without giving much importance to their appearance. Once the money is gone their dissatisfaction can cause physical and verbal abuse resulting in the marriage breaking up.

Lack of communication

Lack of communication between couples can be a major reason for break up. A marriage is on the rocks when the lines of communication fail. Many expect their partners to guess what they want or what their problem is without communicating. Because of this sometimes even small misunderstandings end up in divorce.

However, marriage is not about getting something, it’s about giving it. The bottom line is that marriage is just a long-term opportunity to practice loving someone even when they don’t deserve it. Once you are in no going back till death comes knocking…..for the single look well before you enter. For those in already exercise patience and with prayers things can change for better.

is it still for better or for worse?

Marriage is an institution created and designed by God. Anyone who feels trapped in a marriage can find many marriage "counselors," each with their own opinions, to tell them what's best. But when it comes to divorce, it takes more than an opinion to discover the right thing to do — it takes wisdom.
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything".
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

Didn't the pastor read these things before jumping in and out of marriage like that...Pastor Chris Okotie is out for another divorce...wife number 2 in four years of marriage. this was decleared by him in the church. imagine..God have mercy.

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Making things happen is a natural thing that comes within me. In order to succeed in any area-business, relationship, academics, I have to work hard, create smart strategies and be a good team player. No doubt many of my disciplines were acquired by observing successful people. I grew up from a middle class family which runs a small business, were hard work is thought as nothing of getting up long before daybreak and working long past sundown. I assumed that same work ethics. So as I grew, I applied them so did my career in life grew also.

On a beautiful Monday I thought. Maybe the office and I will have some time to click. A habitual planner, I started going over my Monday list, adding and deleting things just getting organized. I began to develop my list of accounts, school certificates and less was listed but I didn’t mind because I knew I could learn a lot by working on small things. So that was why I began internship which is unpaid jobs. Just for experience sake because with those experience I could meet my goal.

As I worked my way up the career ladder, I pursued higher profile accounts, those requiring harder work and greater expertise to handle but representing richer opportunity both creativity and financially. Along with my professional success came with the respect from family and friends, which I had worked hard for to achieve. In addition I gain favor from all my supervisor and bosses that I have worked for.

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The predicament of a 10 year od girl.

 

 Sexual abuse is something that I find to be so demonic, I dislike it with all the veins in me when I get the stories in the air of sexual abuse or even any abuse or harassment whatsoever. it is worrisome and should be taken seriously, but again I sat to think what could be the cause. Especially when I came across the story of a 10 year old girl on another blog who can’t stay without sex daily from men. According to her story it all started at the age of 7 by an old man living in their compound where she stays with her aunt after the death of her father.

Obviously, the aunt is not aware of all these for so long. The man, who does this apparently, is sick because I would ask for the joy or satisfaction he derives from his act. The child could not have spoken for some reasons. Are there not people around who have noticed the man or the girl or both, perhaps some might have, but what is there business? After all is not their child or whatever. My next question is how much of the girls life has been destroyed and can be replaced?

For parents and guardians isn’t it obvious that the girl was not looked out for properly, sorry if I should lay blames on the aunt. What was her duty on the girl’s care if she was sent to her in Lagos? According to the story culled from a blog I read, the girl once was living in Enugu state before been sent to Lagos under the care of her aunt. I assume that she wouldn’t look after the girl properly after all is not her child. Whatever the case maybe, it is necessary that one monitors the child he or she is living with daily to observe differences that may occur and know how to start tracing the negative difference at an early stage. I assume if this was done it could have been notice at the first time of her sexual abuse.

Speaking of the man is obvious he is sick of pedophile. These are people who are sexually excited by children. However, with this instance I will not blame the aunt. My reason for this is that she wouldn’t have notice that this man was abusing her niece, of course such people are so innocent, calm, and pure. Infact I might say it is very difficult to identify them instead I would say it is important to identified sign that might show if there is any abuse going on. There is a possibility that this man has suffered from an abuse and wants to use the girl has a relive or to feel in control or power. I don’t think the man could have stopped if this was not reported, I rather think that he would stop if the child starts developing secondary characteristics of adulthood. This saddens my heart.

The child could not have spoken for some reasons, one could be that the relationship between a mother and child does not exist between she and her aunt or she is ignorant and thought it was normal. But what amazes me is the fact that no one noticed this until the age of 10. Because according to researchers there are number of symptoms a child demonstrates if being abused. Is it that the girl did not demonstrate them? This is so absurd or she did but was not taken care off again, the blame is going to her aunt. Some of the symptoms could be unusually sad, less communicative than usual, changed eating, nightmares, fear of persons or place they didn’t have before. With these symptoms when noticed its right to ask the girl questions in a loving manner, has anyone touched you before? This will remind the girl that you love her and support her then she will open up.

I just imagined the life of this poor girl being ruined by a useless man and the carelessness of the guardian to the extent of wanting for more, in any case there is still hope for the future, a better one for the girl. Rehabilitation will help the girl, I would say reassuring the girl that she is not to be blamed and seek for medical assistance will help too. The other thing is to find that man slap the law to  his face.

Do not be ashamed to voice out these complaints when it comes, such offenders does that because they feel that people can’t complain and that nobody would listen to them. but speak first and you will be heard.

SAY NO TO CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE.

DISTANT RELATIONSHIP: a walk in or walk out?

 

Hello Everyone,

How are you guys and your week going? Mine has been purely good especially now that am on vacation from books.

Have this question on my mind, please I need us to reason well before any suggestion I did like to have some despite my own opinion. DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP: should it be a walk in or walk out?

I am in a situation like it now and wanted something to do so if there is any other opinion on this matter that you guys have, please do not hesitate to share with me.

 

Distant relationship, I mean in my own opinion is nothing to worry about especially when two minds are gratefully into it with understanding and maturity. Some people I have heard have their opposite opinion. But I have always come across this question, from web, friends, articles and conversations.

Is it true that when the two hearts do not see themselves most often, it could tempt them to cheat on each other?

Is it also true that most people in distant relationship suffer from trust and jealousy?

Is it true that they get fed up along the way and turn to seek love somewhere else?

Almost everybody will see it to be on a negative side but come on, why don’t we look at it on a positive side. I think is good. Every relationship has it’s strength and weakness and long distance relationship is not an exception. When two people who are in love are not around each other, well for those who are in a relationship can tell but for those who are not, I tell you it creates a room for loneliness both physical and emotional. But at this time, I say you need to find out whether the two of you are compatible or not.

 These are some of the things I would think and some other people also thought the same with me……

Every relationship needs to give a space in other to grow. You know seeing someone frequently can lead to loss of respect, boring, finding unnecessary faults etc, therefore it is advisable to give a space *wink* hence distance relationship. In that case you won’t be less tried seeing each other perhaps.

Emotional insecurity pops up. If you are insecure over the kind of people your partner is seeing then I will consider it that you are not emotionally mature. Don’t nag when you see your partner with anybody or a particular person…lolzz for some people who are emotional. Serious that will push him or her off the wall. Look at the positive side and know that your absence will bring your guys much sweeter fun when you meet than when you are always together.

Suspicions. Once you start suspecting hmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is the beginning of the end of the relationship.

You need to be creative to spice up your relationship. The worst thing you can ever do is to leave out phone conversation in a long distance relationship or even making it boring. it should be spiced up with those lovely words like Honey, Sweet, I miss you. Do no take decisions on your own whiles you guys are separated, learn to still consult your partner in any decision that you are about to take. 

To make it work I suggest these things, I mean that’s what I think might make it work.

• ·         Let your partner always know that you are very important to him or her always make it known all the time.

• ·         Let there be connections. Thank God for phones, internet such as face book, Skype, yahoo, send pictures a lot to him or her to be seeing your face.

• ·         Try to do things together such as watching a movie together interesting ones and come online to share views, just think of something and share it together.

• ·         Sometimes it is wise to plan a visit. Yeah!!! Am sure everyone will like that.

• ·         Try to challenge each other. I mean motivate each other. Yeah!! It kinda worked for me previously. Challenge your partner to take up a bold step he or she has always wanted to.

• ·         Always talk about your future together.

• ·         Stay positive.

• ·         Avoid jealously and stay trusted.